What do I want to do?

In three days, I will have officially been at my job for eight years. And if you follow me at all or know me in real life, then you know it's far from being my dream job. I mean I can't complain about having a secure, steady income but my career isn't what I thought it would be. Sometimes I think I knew what I wanted more when I was younger. It seems like the older I get, the less I have figured out. And the less mojo I have, for lack of a better word, to go for what I really want.

But I guess that's the big question - what do I want?

I keep thinking about this interview I read with Timothy Goodman (co-founder of 40 Days of Dating aka one of my favorite blogs ever; and yes, I am still following them like the huge fan that I am) and two things he said really resonated with me.
“Don’t worry about what you want to do as much as who you want to work for.”
"I tell my students all the time to stay away from design books and to read about things that they’re really interested in; things that touch their soul. Learn about the environment, build an engine, or read poetry. Thinking like a designer can limit you and, in a way, it can be detrimental to your thinking."
It's exactly how I feel. I want to work for someone that I can learn from and who will challenge me constantly. That I can respect and will respect me in return. A place that recognizes genuine hard work and sees through the crap people can pull and promotes those who actually deserve it. Understands that there should be balance between your personal life and work. I don't want to live and breathe my job. I don't even want to live and breathe design & development. I want do my thing 9-5 with diverse, open-minded coworkers and then.. go home and read a book or go out with my friends. I mean I do that now but sometimes it feels like a point against me that I think happy hours and work movie nights are a waste of time. I want to do what I'm really interested in during my off hours. And hope that creativity will influence my work and help me look at design in new way. Jobs like this have to exist somewhere, right?

Truthfully, I know I still want to be a UI/UX designer and developer. I really do. But my dream company would be either Google (totally far-fetched but I've been to their offices and it is amazing!) or for one of the major publishing companies (the idea of working in close proximity to books makes me want to do a happy dance). But any place that fits all of the criteria I mentioned above would be pretty awesome too. In the meantime though..

(Early) happy 8 years to me!
Do you guys have any work stories (or grievances)  -
 I'd love to hear about them!


  1. I hear you Rachel! I have been at my current job almost four years and its SO FAR from what I studied to do, and from the ideals I set for myself that it makes me cringe sometimes! But I'm working on moving out of here, its just not that easy sometimes! I hope one day you get your dream job, girl!

  2. Oh how I understand. I just got my librarian degree, and yes, I work in a library but it's actually NOTHING that I thought I would be doing. And while that would be okay if I was happy. I'm not happy doing what I'm doing. I understand one will not always be happy at their job and they will not always have fun, but it can't always be like THIS can it?

    Man, I hope not.

  3. I definitely get that. But, I guess I'm just cynical that such a thing exist? Like, I am sure it has to SOMEWHERE but even know I am studying for a degree in publishing and all I am learning about is how it's a money-focused business and how you're expected to do things outside of work and it's just sort of like... Where's the balance? Is it possible to be successful in your job but remain separated from it when off the clock? I am hoping it'll work out in the end for me because on the clock or off I will always love books and spend my time with them either way, but it's different when one is because I want to and the other is because I have to. I just feel like the older I get, the more confused I get and at some point I just feel like I have to settle? (Of course, sometimes it just depends on my mood of the day!) Yes, I am obviously a bundle of positivity over here ;)


with love,