October 30, 2014

The Vampire Academy Gala: Movie Rant


This fun VA week wouldn't be complete without talking about the movie. After reading the books, I knew I'd have to see the adaptation and here's what I thought...

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When I watched Beautiful Creatures, I remember I immediately tweeted that it was worse than Twilight and The Mortal Instruments combined. But now.. I've seen Vampire Academy. And I think it might be the worst one of them all. 

I was kind of prepared for this. I already heard the grumblings from the book blogging community when the movie came out and it got a 9% on Rotten Tomatoes. So I expected bad. But this was really, really bad. Nothing made sense, the actors playing these characters were all wrong. The dialogue was wrong, the tone was wrong. It was just one big fat wrong. Which is sad because the books are really good! But it failed to capture what the books were about. Unless the movie was purposely trying to be bad funny and not serious. The only semi-okay thing about the movie was Zoey Deutch, the actress who played Rose. She still wasn't right but she at least tried to capture Rose's signature snark. As I watched (and cringed), I decided to take notes to help me write this post and you know what? I'm just going to share my unedited running commentary. (It's not spoilery! At least I don't think so.) 

My notes on the movie: 
  • The words explaining vampires on the screen? Silly.
  • Dimitri? Not cute. 
  • Dimitri and Rose's first encounter? Also silly.
  • The way Lissa bit Rose was another silly moment. Reminds of me when the dentist tells you to open wide. 
  • The first meeting with the Strigoi, I don't see Rose cowering the way she did. 
  • I thought Lissa would be prettier. 
  • I also don't like the instructional voiceover stuff in the beginning. 
  • These people are like caricatures. Case and point: headmistress. WTF. 
  • Aaron and Mia don't look at all like I pictured. 
  • Compulsion looks ridiculous. 
  • I don't like how her eyes change when Rose is in Lissa's head. 
  • This first meeting with Christian is so random and unnecessarily intense given that the movie practically just started.  
  • Don't mention or reference Twilight in Vampire Academy. It's not funny. 
  • There are absolutely no smooth transitions. It jumps from one thing to another and it doesn't connect. 
  • Dimitri is comical. 
  • NO ONE LOOKS LIKE HOW I PICTURED. Aren't these people supposed to be attractive?
  • Dream sequence was stupid. 
  • Things are out of order. 
  • That's "Rose's dress"? Their costume department sucks. 
  • Mason, not cute. 
  • This make out scene is laughable and not sexy. 
  • Victor looks the same healed as he does sick. 
  • The speech by Lissa is painful. Like so badly acted, I am going to mute this right now painful. 
  • Dimitri's martial arts is also not convincing. Is he raving?
  • Why is Dimitri whispering to Rose? They're outside talking and no one is around. 
  • WAIT? You're in love? WHAT. I saw nothing of the sort. 
And there you have it! If you're a fan of the books and have seen this movie, you feel my pain. If you haven't watched it - don't bother. Unless you feel like torturing yourself.

Now, head over to Alexa's blog to see what she thought of the movie! 

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